So Weary…SO SO Weary

Ever have someone say to you: “STOP! acting like a victim!”

Now, I’m not precisely sure how a victim ‘acts’. However, here’s my litany of ‘life experiences’:

Molested between ages 4-7.

Witnessed an abundant of physical abuse toward my two half-brothers.

Witnessed my sister’s molestation.

Parents divorced at age 10.

Raped at age 15 while still a virgin.

Raped again three months later by the molester when 4-7.

Twenty-four years in a very abusive marriage…being thrown, kicked, punched, had a knife put to my throat, spat upon, etc.

Endured 4 pregnancy losses.

My son and companion died at age 20.

My youngest talks to me only when in need.

My next in line ‘plays games’ and is close to the ex that abused me and attempted to kill me.

My eldest has been ill for 8 yrs.

I have low oxygen that causes me to cease breathing at night so have been on oxygen for 2 yrs.+.

I have a crippled spine that causes leg spasms that twist me into a pretzel screaming in pain.

Arthritis has set in making my hands and knees swell causing pain.

I’ve had skin cancer in the past.

Hmmmm….

So, if I do act like a ‘victim’, at times… Is it learned behaviour? Could it be that perhaps I sometimes ‘act’ like a victim because I have been victimized?

I’m not ‘acting’. 

But in spite of it all, I KNOW in Whom I have believed!!!

2 Timothy 1: (NIV)

12 That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet this is no cause for shame, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until that day.

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(((HUGS)))  Jude Gibbs, Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’ available at:
http://www.directtextbook.com/isbn/9781498496728?geis=y
Articles on WordPress.com: https://wordpress.com/posts/bereavedparentsblog.wordpress.com.

Also, a Contributor on ‘The Mighty’: https://themighty.com/author/jude-gibbs/

Please help spread the Word. TY! (((HUGS)))

 

 

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6 thoughts on “So Weary…SO SO Weary

  1. Jude,
    I think you make an important point-those who have had a hard life and/or been vicimized by others are not “acting” a part. Just as others display the behavior/character/expectations that are the fruit of the lives they have lived, so, too do people who have been victimized. It’s frustrating when one group is allowed to express themselves and another silenced because what they are expressing is uncomfortable and inconvenient.

    Thank God that one Day all the broken will be healed and all the stolen restored!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You, my dear, are not a victim. You are a SURVIVOR, a WARRIOR, an OVERCOMER. You are a FIGHTER, a WINNER, a CHAMPION and a CONQUERER!!! You are talented, spirit-filled, God-led, intelligent, Bible-fed and an Angel Among Us. Are you perfect? Probably not, but girl, you are so close to perfect that it won’t take God long to finish you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL! I was actually thinking last night of God’s Blessing in it all. These verses came to mind, especially the 2nd one and my thought was: ‘How easy this one has been made for me’.
      John 12:24-25

      24 Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. 25 He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. (((HUGS)))

      Liked by 1 person

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