Today will be a personal day of reflection for me. Twenty-four years ago today, my life here was almost ended. I had been ‘sitting’ on a letter that had arrived in the mailbox addressed to my then husband. It was a common practice for us to open one another’s mail, so it was not out of the ordinary for me to open this one. The letter, however, was anything but ‘ordinary’.
It was from a woman whose name I did not recognize. To describe the contents as flirtatious would be an understatement. I knew if I mentioned this letter, all hell would break loose. I was able to restrain myself for a couple of days from mentioning it, but this day I could keep silent no longer. So, I simply asked the now ‘ex’ if he knew a woman by this name. The reaction was greater than I had feared.
He had been down in the basement when I asked from upstairs thinking I was at a ‘safe’ distance. Not so. He came flying up those steps yelling how he was not going to be put through ‘twenty questions’ and proceeded to chase after me as I attempted to flee. As I ran into the kitchen with him closing the gap, he reached into the silverware drawer and took out a large knife. He grabbed hold of my arm and swung me backwards over the kitchen chair. At that moment, my only thought was: ‘so this is how it ends’. I could feel myself beginning to black-out and as he lowered his arm with knife in hand to my throat, my sixteen year old came charging in yelling: “What the ‘F’ are you doing to my Mother??” My eldest saved my life that day.
The yelling by the then husband was such that I don’t to this day remember a single word…I only recall the angry tone of it all. Cupboard doors were being slammed while I simply laid on the floor having fallen off the back of the chair completely dazed. It was a month later when I awoke to tubes down my throat after an attempted suicide because of the traumatized state I was in.
For approximately a year, I re-lived that traumatic event frequently. Whenever the memory returned of that near fateful night, I found myself grabbing onto a doorway as if clinging for my life. It wasn’t until the Church I attended had a convention that I was set free. I had received prayer and was laying on the floor not far from the podium. Over one thousand people showed up that night to hear the Pastor and his wife who were visiting from a Church in Toronto. When I looked up and my eyes focused on this Pastor’s wife, she looked directly at me and pointed her finger at me with a huge grin on her face. I immediately went out under the power of the Holy Spirit and then had a vision. It began with the memory of my ex coming at me with that knife in his hand. But this time, something changed dramatically. As the knife came down toward my throat, Jesus appeared between me and him. My Lord raised his hand and the knife went into His nail hole. From that moment on, I never had to cling to a doorway again when I recalled that event. I had been instantly healed from the trauma. God had also saved my life that night.
I know some don’t believe in such things, but this is what occurred.
So today is a reminder for me of a horrific and traumatizing event which is overshadowed by the miracle healing power of God. All the pain of that night has been forgotten, having been replaced by the memory of God’s divine Love, protection, and intervention. Today I remember the awesomeness of my God. Today I embrace His Peace which surpasses all understanding. Today I rest in His peace knowing for certain that all my sorrows and tribulations will one day cease with the assurance that all my tears He will personally wipe from my face. There is no sorrow, no abuse, no trauma beyond what He can heal. I can try and heal myself by clinging to doorways, or I can expect God’s healing to intervene making me whole again. I prefer the latter. I shall stand and watch the deliverance of my God.
2 Chronicles 20: (NASB)
17 You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out to face them, for the Lord is with you.”
(((HUGS))) Jude Gibbs, Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’ available at:
Articles on WordPress.com: https://wordpress.com/posts/bereavedparentsblog.wordpress.com.
Also, a Contributor on ‘The Mighty’: https://themighty.com/author/jude-gibbs/
Please help spread the Word. TY! (((HUGS)))