Someone once told me this when I was at a point in my grief where I found some folks in my life to be not so supportive. Either they had certain expectations of how I should be handling my child’s passing on, or they treated me like I had the plague.
For those who stood by me in my darkest hour, and still do, I am eternally grateful. In other ways, though, I can even be grateful for those who were not. Why? Because of them, I learned to set healthy boundaries.
This is very tough to do in the early days of our grief because we have been torn open and are extremely raw and vulnerable like a turtle’s underbelly. We have great difficulty in resisting anything that is thrown at us…and it can be equally difficult to respond. I’m not suggesting that we put on a hardened shell, though we may have to for a period of time. I simply want to say: “It’s OK” to distance yourself for a time from certain folks who just don’t ‘get it’, and worse yet, add insult to injury. We do not need our grief compounded if it can be avoided.
God has given freewill to all and it is a great gift. Some choose wisely, some do not. The problem arises when the foolish choices made by some cause us wounds, and we end up bearing the consequences of their bad choice. It’s not fair. However, none of us are immune to making poor choices, at times. The fact that some seem to make ‘foolishness’ a lifestyle is between them and God. We, however, are left with the choice as to how to respond to the choices of others that affect us.
If there are people in your life who are adding to your grief, separate yourself from them, at least for a time. Don’t allow them to cause you additional pain which can lead to more anger endangering your soul to be taken captive by bitterness. Such things do not happen overnight. It is a progressive damage that can occur. Nip it in the bud ASAP.
Matthew 10: (NKJV)
12 And when you go into a household, greet it. 13 If the household is worthy, let your peace come upon it. But if it is not worthy, let your peace return to you. 14 And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet.
(Various excerpts from: ‘Gifts from the Ashes’)
(((HUGS))) Jude Gibbs, Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’ available at: Xulon Press, Amazon, Barnes & Noble and DeeperShopping. Additional international retailers: http://www.foyles.co.uk/witem/biography/gifts-from-the-ashes,jude-gibbs-9781498496728 http://www.upliftvstore.com/product.asp?sku=9781498496728 Also, a Contributor on ‘The Mighty’: https://themighty.com/author/jude-gibbs/
Also, see a more complete list at: http://www.directtextbook.com/isbn/9781498496728?geis=y Please help spread the Word. TY! (((HUGS)))