It sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? Are there really any Gems to be found in this vacuity of Grief? In this dry wasteland, could Gems possibly be hidden? When this fallow ground (Hos. 10:12; Jer. 4:3) is plowed, can a treasure be discovered?
The first time my devastation received a droplet of Hope was when I was handed a booklet in which a Scripture was written: “The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning” (Eccl. 7:4a). I latched onto it as a drowning person latches on to a lifebuoy; as a nomad wandering in the desert scampers toward a vision of an oasis, in hope that it is authentic. Can anything good come from this abyssal anguish? Skepticism ruled; incredulity was visceral. Surely, nothing good could come from my son’s demise.
Gradually, I began to take notice. Changes were taking place within. Sprouts of life bearing seeds began to take root.
One of the first which burgeoned was a lack of fear. I had been forced to embrace the most horrendous fear any parent might face: the death of a child. No parent wants to even entertain such a thought that it could happen to them, let alone actually have it occur. Suddenly, I no longer felt ‘fear’. No longer could fear overwhelm me. Fear death? No. Death would now be welcomed. This is not to say I became careless; it simply no longer held any grip on me, however. I had been set free from its bondage (Hebrews 2:15).
The second which sprouted was a change in perspective. Those ‘little things’ that once threw me into a panic, became of no or little consequence to me. No daily hurdle was monumental. I found myself being a bit stunned at things that perturbed others. Nothing measured up to what I was now embracing daily. Yet, I knew they once had. But now, such annoyances had no power over me. They had not become meaningless, simply impotent in their control.
The third thing I took note of was the scale of intensity in which I was impacted by the tossed around cliché: Life is Short. I had often stated that it an almost flippant manner. I used it lightheartedly to alleviate apprehension. I had used it jokingly to encourage decisions. Now, I knew that Life is Short; now, I knew that my time here was no longer something to be taken for granted.
The fourth, but not least, that began to take root in well nourished soil was my visionary perspective. This life was not all there was. This life was a mere drop in the bucket of all life. This time here became a ‘passing through’ moment…a vapour (James 4:14). I was now simply a sojourner in a land I could no longer call ‘home’. A part of me could now intertwine with a new Home, my son’s Home, an eternal resting place of intrinsic peace. I, as King David, could now say: “I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.” (2 Sam. 12:23b).
I thought upon the realization of these Gems I had discovered. They were ‘pearls of great price’ (Mt. 13:45-46). Surely, I had paid a great price for such Gems. Had it been worth the investment? No. I would toss them all in an instant without thought if I could have my son returned to me. Then, I understood. Not only had I been granted these Gems in this brief journey we call ‘life’; I would also again embrace my child, but now for all eternity…never to be parted again. I can have my cake and eat it, too!
(((HUGS))) Jude Gibbs, Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’ available at: Xulon Press, Amazon, Barnes & Noble and DeeperShopping. Additional international retailers: http://www.foyles.co.uk/witem/biography/gifts-from-the-ashes,jude-gibbs-9781498496728 http://www.upliftvstore.com/product.asp?sku=9781498496728 Also, a Contributor on ‘The Mighty’: https://themighty.com/author/jude-gibbs/
Please help spread the Word. TY! (((HUGS)))