I’m drained. This was the longest Mother’s Day of my life.
It began about one week before International Bereaved Mother’s Day, and finalized with the traditional Mother’s Day. The looming anticipation of such a time takes a lot of energy. My thoughts become preoccupied with memories and that ‘Grief Fog’ hovers relentlessly, making it difficult to focus on any daily demands. The emotions are conflicting; the times of confusion make it difficult to run even in my default mode of auto-pilot. When someone asks me how I’m doing, I either respond with a blank stare or begin rambling because so many thoughts are rapidly shooting across my mind. Without a doubt, it has been stressful and that stress has taken it’s toll upon me physically.
Time to ‘breathe’ again.
For some, this was a day of tremendous pain. Many spent the day in hiding, not able to function. Some, because of other children, had to put on a strained ‘smiley face’. Others were able to embrace the honor bestowed upon them at such a time. Once again, there was no ‘right or wrong’ way to venture through it all. Hopefully, we have all survived it.
Slowly, gradually, I will climb back out of this muck in which I was stuck. I will be grateful that this season has passed…for now. My thoughts will progressively become clearer; they will become more defined and more easily managed. But as after any wound, I need some time to heal. I need to make sure I am eating healthily and attending to those things that got ‘misplaced’ in the midst of the turmoil. I need to purposefully be gentle with myself.
Ecclesiastes 3: (VOICE)
1 Teacher: For everything that happens in life—there is a season, a right time for everything under heaven:
2 A time to be born, a time to die;
a time to plant, a time to collect the harvest;
3 A time to kill, a time to heal;
a time to tear down, a time to build up;
4 A time to cry, a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, a time to dance;
5 A time to scatter stones, a time to pile them up;
a time for a warm embrace, a time for keeping your distance;
6 A time to search, a time to give up as lost;
a time to keep, a time to throw out;
7 A time to tear apart, a time to bind together;
a time to be quiet, a time to speak up;
8 A time to love, a time to hate;
a time to go to war, a time to make peace.
This is my time to recover.
(((HUGS))) Jude Gibbs, Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’ available at: Xulon Press, Amazon, Barnes & Noble and DeeperShopping. Additional international retailers: http://www.foyles.co.uk/witem/biography/gifts-from-the-ashes,jude-gibbs-9781498496728 http://www.upliftvstore.com/product.asp?sku=9781498496728 Also, a Contributor on ‘The Mighty’: https://themighty.com/author/jude-gibbs/
Please help spread the Word. TY! (((HUGS)))