Oh, how often I have felt this way…unable to cope or function. The weariness becomes so overwhelming that I have laid on my bed simply Hoping that this was my time…that I, too, would be called Home. Grief, though it often encompasses depression, is not in itself depression. It extends far beyond. The depth of Grief is indescribable to anyone who has been spared of its torturous claws. It’s as if it resides in every cell of our being. Nothing is left untouched. It’s a ruthless consuming force.
It’s currently what is called: Holy Week. It begins with the crowds praising Jesus abundantly on Palm Sunday. There is an appearance of total humility amongst the people. They gladly give Him great Honour and welcome His presence as He humbly arrives in their midst riding a simple donkey.
How quickly things change.
Once the folks begin to understand that their immediate expectations will not be realized in their desire for instant gratification, they turn to anger…and not just any anger. Within just a few short days, they are raging with demands to : CRUCIFY HIM!!! All because they didn’t get what they wanted when they wanted it. This extends far beyond a two year old’s temper tantrum. They are out for Blood…Not just droplets of blood by scourging and whipping; they want death…horrible torturing crucifying death for which they clamour.
In the late 70’s, I dove into God’s Word. I would awake in the middle of the night as my young ones and husband slept, and I would absorb myself in God’s Word with an unquenchable desire. I was driven to know more. I had prayed as a child; I accepted Him as my Saviour in my late teens; I had acknowledged that He is God and that He had died for my sins. What I hadn’t understood before that time is that I…personally…had driven those nails into my God.
It became personal.
It was because of MY sins and fallen nature that He had died. This was no longer about everyone else. This was about Him and me. I had often heard that Jesus the Christ had died for me personally. I had been told that He loved me so much that even if I was the only person on the planet that was in need of Redemption, He still would have gone to the Cross…just for me. Now, things had gone deeper. Now, I understood that I was one in that crowd.
I still weep.
That one night I absorbed the Truth that I had killed my Lord and Saviour, my Creator.
Yes, today, we praise the Almighty King. In five short days, we acknowledge the sadness of His Crucifixion. Then, shortly thereafter, we praise Him again with rejoicing in celebration that He has risen from the dead in victory and express our gratitude that now we, too, can go to Heaven. We don’t have to suffer as He did. We suffer, no doubt. But not like He did. We do have brothers and sisters in His Body that come close. They are beheaded, crucified, raped, and burned alive. I give those martyrs honor.
I am not diminishing anyone’s pain by saying these things. I am not diminishing my own. I am not comparing one’s suffering with another. I am simply offering a perspective.
I pray we somberly consider such things. Only by doing so, can we more greatly appreciate Jesus. Only by doing so, can we more fully embrace His great and endless Love for us. Only by doing so, can we fully acknowledge His Kingship. Only by doing so, can we even begin to fully understand His unceasing Mercy and Grace. For He alone is truly worth to be praised.
9 Wherefore also God highly exalted him, and gave unto him the name which is above every name; 10 that in the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven and things on earth and things under the earth, 11 and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
12 So then, my beloved, even as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling;
(((HUGS))) Jude Gibbs, Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’ available at: Xulon Press, Amazon, Barnes & Noble and DeeperShopping. A Contributor on ‘The Mighty’: https://themighty.com/2017/03/the-pain-of-holidays-after-the-loss-of-loved-ones/
Book released 2/15/17. Please help spread the word. TY!! (((HUGS)))