“A sister is someone who listens when U talk, Laughs when U laugh ,
and holds your hand when you cry….”
3/23/15, 6 days after the anniversary of my son’s demise and just a couple of weeks before my mom’s anniversary, I received a call from my big bro. He was at the ward for the dying. My sister would not let go. Though she had been taken off all assistance to keep breathing, she would not let go.
He said that the nurse told him that from her experience, she had noted that those that hang on are often doing so because they have something unsettled, something unresolved. He said he believed that was me.
My sis and I had a strained and tumultuous relationship most of our lives. Yet, as my bro soon learned, she and I shared things of which he had no knowledge, no awareness, though he thought my sister had always told him everything.
He placed me on the speaker phone and I told her how much I love her, how much Jesus loves her, how mom and my son and others were waiting for her. My bro later told me that the hospital pastor was in the room and heard me. He asked my bro what religion we are. From what I am told, my sis had a strange calmness that then overtook her after days of her flailing her arms though she was unable to speak or open her eyes.
I immediately threw some things into a suitcase and drove in the middle of the night, often over 90 mph, begging God to keep her alive until I arrived at the hospital. Tears were flowing and I was, at times, screaming out to Him. I managed to arrive in 1 1/2 hours. God heard my prayers.
I was able to talk to her, joke with her. Though she could not open her eyes nor speak, I know she was fully aware. I could rub her forehead in spite of ‘rules’ that she was not to be touched. On one hand, the nurse said that touching the dying kept them hanging on…while on the other hand, I was told that her greatest fear was dying alone. I’ve never been one to let senseless ‘rules’ stand in my way.
A few hours later, my sister calmly and peacefully let go.
I do consider myself blessed. My last visits with my son, my mom, my dad, and my sis were all ‘good’…really really good. I know others struggle with regrets and unresolved issues in addition to their grief that makes things often more complicated. My prayers are with you. I know that in the Lord, He can bring you to a place of Peace.
Philippians 4: 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
(((HUGS))) (excerpt from ‘Gifts from the Ashes’)
My sister passed away peacefully shortly after midnight on 3/24/15.
In honor of you, Sue. I love you !!!!!!!
(((HUGS))) Jude Gibbs, Author of Gifts from the Ashes available at:
Also, a Contributor on ‘The Mighty’: https://themighty.com/2017/03/the-pain-of-holidays-after-the-loss-of-loved-ones/
Please help spread the word…TY!!! (((HUGS)))