A fancy word for ‘Cliques’. It essentially defines a group, small or large, that excludes anyone and everyone that doesn’t believe how they do. They are discriminatory and exclusive. They perceive themselves to have a handle on what is ‘fair’ and what is ‘reality’ in their self-righteousness. They especially exclude Christians. All other beliefs are acceptable, even promoted and supported. However, if one ‘dares’ to express their Christian Faith in Christ, the hammer comes down.
I have been kicked out of 5, going on 6, support groups for grieving moms. I make no bones about it, I have survived this hell because of God. I’ve tried other means…they don’t work. They may make one ‘feel better’ for awhile, but they do not sustain one long-term.
The 1st group I was kicked out of is called ‘The Compassionate Friends-Loss of a Child’. A grieving Momma who said she was a Christian and was struggling with her Faith (as most of us do) after losing her 2nd son…had posted a genuine question. She specifically wanted to know what God thought of seeking out ‘mediums’. I responded with Scripture to a ‘Christian’ with a genuine ‘Christian’ question. I was kicked off of the site.
The 2nd site was a ‘Christian’ site. I had shared in a Private Message with the moderator about a dream I had in which my son appeared warning me of 9-11, one month before it occurred. She was aghast. She apparently believed that it was the devil warning me of 9-11 disguised as my son. Earlier that day, another grieving Momma had posted about her 3 yr. old daughter having had some sort of vision of her deceased sibling. I had not seen the post, rather heard about it from some other moms. It had brought them all great comfort. Whatever this 3 yr. old little girl had seen, it was apparently obvious that she could not have ‘made it up’. Also, one would not expect such a young child to be lying about such a thing. Nevertheless, this moderator was quite agitated by it and posted a somewhat lengthy post about how ‘we do not believe in such things’ which sent that poor Momma into a total meltdown of tears. I privately contacted the moderator. I made a ‘suggestion’…and it truly was only a suggestion. I was very careful to address the matter both humbly and privately. I simply asked her to possibly consider addressing such a matter privately in such a situation (rather than shaming her in front of thousands on that site) for what happened with her 3 yr. old little girl. Later, the same day, a couple of other Mommas were outraged by this moderator’s post and held nothing back in their comments. I did not comment. I simply ‘liked’ them with a check mark to validate them.
Next thing I knew, I had been kicked off of that site (WWW). The moderator then PM’d me and said she kicked me off because I was being an ‘instigator’.. Then she ‘blocked’ me to avoid any further discussion of the matter. I would have at least preferred to have had the opportunity to delete my personal and private sharing on that closed site, but was not afforded that opportunity. I was later told by a couple of moms that the moderator took down her lengthy post after she kicked me out of the group.
A similar thing happened on the 1st site. Though I had been in touch via email with the head of ‘Compassionate Friends’ and was repeatedly assured all my comments would be deleted, I was then told I had given up all my rights to privacy and my ‘Personal Intellectual Property’ by posting them on their site… even though it was a ‘closed site’, and I had been assured when I joined that all was private and confidential.
The 3rd, 4th, and 5th sites kicked me off because at the bottom of the articles I post, I always have the info attached that I am now a Published Author, etc. I was threatened by one that if I made that public, that she kicked me off her site, she would have me removed from FB. The other two were non-eventful in the sense that I was ‘getting use to’ this sort of treatment. A doctor does not usually hide their ‘letters’ after their name, nor an engineer, etc. A ‘person of the cloth’ doesn’t usually not have ‘Rev.’ or ‘Father’, etc. before their name. It is a signature ‘of their trade’. Why should I be shamed into hiding that I am now an Author? They are my ‘credentials’ for which I labored. It cost me months of my life, as well as, financially to obtain that achievement.
BTW, on that 2nd site, the moms that actually commented which I simply ‘liked’, were not kicked off the site.
Now, I may be kicked off of a 6th site. I posted tonight’s post to express my gratitude to all the life-saving support and loving encouragement I received from other grieving moms who put their own grief aside to help sustain me. After doing so, I found this in my message box: “Jude, per the rules of our grief group, please refrain from posting anything that refers to religion or a link that may also have a religious overtone to it. We strive to serve those who find comfort in many religions and gods and therefore like all posts to be applicable to all. Thank you”. I had just found a slice of peace after walking through hell these past couple of weeks facing my son’s 18th anniversary 3/17, and my sister’s yet to come on 3/24…her 2nd year anniversary.
I later looked at when she sent the message and it is dated 3/17, So…even better (sarcasm). While I was in the throes of my deepest sorrow on my son’s death anniversary, battling with suicidal thoughts, she sent this. I’m grateful I didn’t see it yesterday…I may not have been here today.
I could not believe what I was reading. I do know that the person who sent that to me has only been moderator since 2/23. Hence, I have PM’d the owner of the site to ask if I should leave the site.
There actually was one more, but I was not kicked off of it. The woman in charge of that site had sent me a very kind PM stating their ‘rules’ (more anti-God rules), but did so in a very gentle and loving manner. Because I can’t/won’t be silent about how my Loving Lord has gotten me through so much and that He is my only Hope, I removed myself so as not to mistakenly post anything on that site about my God some night in a ‘Grief Fog’.
20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.
I find great solace in God’s Word. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Heb. 13:8). I like that consistency. How many folks when they know they are truly loved by someone, don’t speak of it? How many who are in love, and know that love is greatly reciprocated, remain silent about it? I know Jesus loves me. I know He suffered excruciating torment and death for me! He is my Saviour! He is my Messiah! He is my Lord! He is my Hero!!! …And you want me to keep my mouth shut about Him???
Sorry folks, AIN’T GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!
If you knew how much He loves you, you wouldn’t either.
Jesus warned us: “You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” (Mt. 10:22). Your attacks only solidify my Faith. Your snobbery Sectarianism only deepens my roots. It makes me draw even closer to my Lord for His love and comfort.
I will pray for you. I will continue to Hope that you will meet Jesus and know how very much He loves you and is ‘dying‘ to help you. Because, He truly can and does give us Hope…Real Hope! I really like knowing I will see my son again. I really like knowing that he is in a place with such beauty in the Presence of my Lord, the Creator of the Universe, where there is no more pain, no more sorrow, no more tears. I intend to join him there one day because of Jesus the Christ.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
He really means what He says, folks!
(((HUGS))) Jude Gibbs, Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’ available at:
Also, a Contributor on ‘The Mighty’: https://themighty.com/2017/03/the-pain-of-holidays-after-the-loss-of-loved-ones/
Please help spread the word…TY!!! (((HUGS)))