I’m angry so ‘warning’…if you can’t deal with anger, don’t read this!
We live in a very faineant society in which a large portion of the population has been encouraged to be indolent. The vernacular has become so over simplified, that folks no longer have the vocabulary within their grasp to aptly describe what they are feeling; they find themselves to be bankrupt when it comes time to fully express their own feelings. It makes me irate, as well as, sad.
Vocabulary has become obsolete. The knowledge of root origins of words has nearly become eradicated. Hence, folks find themselves in a peculiar situation in which they do not have access to the words incumbent for expression.
I heard on the NEWS the other day that some school, somewhere, will no longer be requiring literacy exams for the instructors. I was stunned, and that is an understatement. Is there some ‘master plan’ to ‘dumb-down’ the children? Is it a process of elimination to minimize competition? I’m sure some may quickly dismiss such thoughts as conspiratorial. But you do so…at your future generations’ expense. I, on the other hand, find it vexing.
I very regrettably rebelled against much of my dad’s instructions. He was so extremely prolific with the English vocabulary, that it ostracized me in some circles. I made a conscious choice to learn the ‘vocabulary’ of a specific ‘group’. In doing so, I nearly extinguished my personal identity to ‘fit in’. I find this to occur periodically in ‘grief support groups’ to my dismay. It often leads to personal trepidation. Please understand, I am not demonizing or caricaturizing anyone. A pragmatist and an idealist are often viewed as different ends of a spectrum. However, reality dictates that most are a combination of both.
Truly, there is a beauty in simplicity..but not in being ‘simple’. Life is not simple, it is complicated. Grief is very complicated. Yes, it is indescribable to one who has never deeply grieved. But I do believe that our society often rejects the griever because they consciously decide to reject anything they do not understand. Nor, do they have the desire and motivation to expense the energy it takes to delve deeper. They live in a world of ‘WTH’, ‘WTF’, ‘K’, ‘Me, too’, ‘get it’, ‘BTW’, ‘prayers’, ‘TTYL’, ‘XXX’, etc. Yes, I have also learned the parlance somewhat and am often guilty of its usage, as well. To some degree, and in some instances, it is expedient. It is imperative in doing so to be vigil, however. Over-simplifying can become a pitfall. It can stupefy our senses. It causes divisions in the ‘grief community’ to expect/demand/require ‘sameness’. It’s like eating the same meal day after day after day. It’s no wonder that many often leave such groups because they simply cannot bear to hear the same thing over and over and over again. ‘Variety is the spice of life’. Diversity without division is attainable.
It has become a ‘feel good’ society. Is it any wonder that drugs, both legally prescribed and illegally purchased on a street corner, are so readily available? They want a ‘quick-fix’. Our fast-food society has become a fast-drug society. They treat the symptoms, not the disease. Churches have succumbed to Sermons that make members ‘think positively’, rather than challenging them to delve deeper into the Word of God. Books by Dostoevsky have been replaced by self-help books at the local drugstore. How many of today’s students desire to study/participate/attend plays and workshops on the Classics, e.g., Shakespeare? Paul rebuked the Corinthians:
1 Corinthians 3:
2 ‘I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.’
‘Obama said, schools should be judged on criteria other than student test performance, including attendance rate.’ (Boston.com)
On one hand, Paul says: “I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some.” (1 Cor. 9:19:23). On the other hand, we are all individuals and need to retain that individuality with due respect: 27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.’ (See 1 Cor. 12:12-27).
KISS is an acronym for “Keep it simple, stupid“. (This is not stating we should be either simple or stupid.) A variant used is “keep it simple and straightforward”.
When I’ve taken the time and energy to pour out in a grief group my heart-wrenching emotions, a response of: ‘me, too’ is of no help to me. It may momentarily offer me a quick-fix to my feelings knowing that another can identify with what I am feeling at the moment, but it does nothing long-lasting to address the underlying issue or offer me any possible resolutions. Again, I am not criticizing anyone. There are times because of what we may be going through at the moment, that ‘me, too’ is the best we have to offer another. Our warehouse is depleted. But as one grieving Momma once told me:
“I was trying to be strong and brave and what I was really doing was just asking for some band aids after I was hit by a bus and dragged down the street for a couple of miles”.
I don’t simply want to ‘feel’ better; I want to be better.
…And that takes hard grueling work.
If I am working up a sweat and painstakingly digging a hole for myself in an attempt to get to the bottom of something, standing on the edge and saying: “I did that once” does not alleviate my burden. How about picking up a shovel and giving me a hand?
2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
It’s simply called old-fashion teamwork of two separate individual beings yoked together. You need not forsake your individuality to be part of a team…Requiring that others speak the same ‘lingo’ in order to ‘fit-in’ is sectarianism.
(((HUGS))) Jude Gibbs, Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’ available at:
Also, a Contributor on ‘The Mighty’: https://themighty.com/2017/03/the-pain-of-holidays-after-the-loss-of-loved-ones/
Please help spread the word…TY!!! (((HUGS)))