I have been put through the wringer today. Not only is it the month of March which is the anniversary of my son’s death, 3/17…the 2nd anniversary of my only sister’s death, 3/24, when I watched her die before me…which is followed by my mom’s anniversary which is on Easter, but I was kicked off of not one…but two ‘Grief sites’ this morning. I spent a total of five hours trying to reach and contact moderators and then having back and forth ‘chats’, etc. with these people. Just now was I finally able to confirm that my personal and private information HAS been removed. But not before I went through hell.
NO ONE bothered to show me the courtesy and respect of contacting me in advance from these two sites. I am writing this to warn others. WE ARE GRIEVING!!! We are often in ‘Grief Fog’ and don’t always get everything ‘right’. I was ‘reprimanded’ for not reading the rules. I was blamed, as anyone victimized in this society knows that ‘blame the victim’ permeates it. We are preoccupied in our grief and ‘rules’ are not always at the top of our list as priorities. Especially, when we have ‘pictures’ in our mind of those we love dying right before our eyes…pictures that remain like neon signs from which there is no escaping.
I am writing this to warn others who are hurting and may not know that NOTHING is private in this electronic age. Here is what I have posted on my own site to warn folks:
P-l-e-a-s-e be aware that NOTHING is private on closed/secret sites. Not only is everything recorded electronically, but it can be kept by these sites. I have been removed from 4 sites in the past year since I 1st started on FB. What you share is now called your ‘intellectual property’. However, not all sites see it that way. This is the 4th time this has happened to me in the past year. TCF removed me and refused to delete my personal info because I shared Scripture with a woman who said she was a Christian and seriously wanted to know if she should go to a ‘medium’. The 2nd was WWW, a Christian site, who removed me because I shared the dream I had of my son one month before 9-11 warning me. She thought that was the devil…and I did not share that on the site but in a private message with the administrator. I have never been able to confirm if personal info, any pics of my son, etc. has been removed from that site. The administrator blocked me so I couldn’t contact her and ask her. Now these 2 without any warning. I am being told it is because I mentioned my book on the bottom of my posts from WordPress. We are all suppose to be grieving moms (some dads). How can they have such hearts that do this to another grieving mom?? Confiscate very personal stuff. These sites simply are NOT safe. I feel violated. Every time a pic of my son has been left on a site, I feel another piece of him has been stolen from me… IT is SO SO wounding.
I was also told that anything I share on any closed/secret site DOES show up on my newsfeed. I had another Momma telling me she could see it ALL.
…..This is why I started this PUBLIC site the end of 6/16. That way everyone knows upfront that what you share is public….rather than be under the ‘illusion’ that your stuff is ‘private’. (((HUGS)))
PLEASE…PLEASE… be careful!!
If you don’t care about such things, then you will never have a problem. But if you are feeling vulnerable and are looking for a ‘safe place’ to share with others very personal and meaningful stuff with others, Social Media is NOT the place for you to do so. Hopefully, you can find a private in-person grief support group in your area. If not, try and meet other grievers on the grief sites, then after you feel you have met someone who is trustworthy, share privately in PM’s. Now these, too, have electronic records…however, you should not have to fear one day being locked off of a site and having your stuff stolen from you, nor have things ‘seen’ by friends and family and whoever on your Newsfeed.
It’s ALL public************************
I grew up in a day when one was frequently reminded to not hang out their dirty laundry to dry. That day is clearly over.
(((HUGS))) Jude Gibbs, Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’ available at:
Please help spread the word…TY!!! (((HUGS)))