I recently read a post by a Bereaved Momma that rejected the idea of being ‘Better’. She reasoned that she is broken, and for her to proclaim that she is ‘better’ would make her feel feel like a ‘reformed smoker’ who has forgotten how difficult it was to quit, ‘and instead mocks those who are still struggling’.
It is true that to some, the statement: ‘Bitter or Better’ can be perceived as another useless cliché. Yet, when I read what she wrote, it saddened my heart. For whatever reason, perhaps a run-in with a Grief General, she has chosen to see herself as broken and rejects the possibility of seeing herself as better.
Obviously, a reformed smoker who takes pride in quitting, and uses their own personal victory in such a haughty manner, is not really better…in their heart. They simply quit smoking.
Are we to reject the notion of being better, in spite of our brokenness, out of fear of becoming a Grief General? I would Hope not. For Jesus does want to make us better in the midst of our brokenness. “And by His stripes we are healed.” (Is. 53:5) To resist or reject: ‘Better’, is to resist and reject what our Lord purchased for us through His great suffering.
We do grow weary of trite clichés on this journey of Grief, for they are abundant. However, sometimes these little clichés hold a gem of Truth in their simplicity. We have to be careful not to throw out the Truth because of their simplicity. Like the old saying goes: ‘Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater’. We need to embrace Truth where we find it, even if it is tucked away in some trite cliché.
Should we tell a reformed smoker that he should return to his former habit because of the way in which he handles his victory? No. We can still rejoice in his Victory with him while rejecting the pride he emits.
Our God is a God of redemption. He can make us better in our brokenness. As in the beautiful Japanese art of Kintsugi, He can take this broken vessel which we have become and create a new vessel of great beauty. Is. 64:8 ‘Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.’
We serve an awesome God!
Romans 5:3-4 also declares, “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.”
The Secret? Rely on God’s Power, Not Your Own.
(((HUGS))) Jude Gibbs
Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’ now available at:
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